"Pure White Lace is enough to cut through, exposing what's beneath..."

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I'm not afraid.
I haven't written in a long, long time.

I've been sitting here, thinking about my stories, poems, and little paragraphs about my life, and I realized something truly sad to me.

I have no inspiration to write.

At all.

All I want to do lately is sit and read. I'll get ideas in my head, but then I'll banish them or I'll decided it would be too hard to write because I can't type fast enough to get my thoughts down on a page. It really infuriates me that in my exciting (read drama-filled) life, I can't find anything to write about. I started over with her. My friends are stabbing each other in the back. I'm almost back to cutting again. My parents are divorcing. My dad's moving to a different continent after the divorce is final. And my niece died a few weeks ago. I'm losing my faith in the world.

I may just be a 14 year old kid, but I know people and I know how they work. Everyone looks at my and thinks, "Oh, she's too young to understand, too young to know."

I'm not too young.

I know and have experienced what most adults thrive for, and some that they would never even dream of. What they never could have imagined. I know what I'm talking about. I can analyze who you are in an instant of talking to you.

I can solve a problem just by using logic skills.

I hate being underestimated.

That being said. My writing skills have been underestimated.

By my own self.

I don't have any confidence in my writing, or in myself, really. 

I'm going to write a long, multi-chaptered fic and put it on here.

I'm going to show myself, and the world I'm not it's bitch, and I can bring what it asks.

And more.

I'm done being afraid of ridicule.

I'm done being ashamed.

I'm done hurting over something stupid.

I'm done with everything and everyone negative in my life.

I'm ready to take the first step to healing.

And that's going to be through my music, writing, and drawings.

I'm ready to finally be free.

I'm ready to be myself.


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